Getting Thrown Into Teaching

Before I left for Taiwan, someone I barely knew gave me a piece of advice. She said that after a while I will have one of those mid-life crisis moments where I question everything all at once and say, "What am I really doing here?"

It's too early for that right now, but knowing that before it happens might help me in some way. I think I have to really look at how I spend my time out here. A new place, a new life, all new habits. It's the habit forming part I need to be careful about. You know that rhythm of the day you find after you move into a new place or get a new job? Eventually you can do a lot without even thinking about it.

One example of this is that I need certain things when I teach. A watch (really important) so I can make sure I can cover all the class material, a water bottle (also important) because some days I'm talking for 6 hours. Mints, my lesson plan, all the textbooks I need, toys for review games to play with the kids, turn off the lights when I leave. So far I have forgotten everything on that list at least once. Now that I've been burned, I bring this stuff without thinking about it.

It's like you have to make a bunch of mistakes at first. That's how you REALLY learn.

My classes are going really well. It's fascinating to try to get inside the heads of kids of so many different ages. I'm teaching kindergarten through seniors in high school. I'm picking it up pretty quick. I'm also discovering that I'm able to use a certain skill (finally!) that I've been trying to pick up.

Most teachers have this skill. It's the skill of being able to stand in front of an audience and see it as an opportunity. Many people (especially me in the past) get in front of an audience and the situation is so disorienting for them, that they can't create a zone in their head for a good spontaneous idea flow. Idea flow is much like a trance I've discovered. And a trance is very similar to having a burning question on your mind. It's like you are looking around the room trying to answer that one question and that's all that happens in your consciousness. If you are self-conscious in front of people, your question is, "What might they be thinking of my presenting, or even me as a person?". You are always trying to answer that question after every sentence you speak.

I've learned over time to change that question to "What do I WANT to do with these people?" So I have to realize that we're all spending some time in this room together and if I don't ask that question, that time will be wasted for all of us. Look for opportunity and fun things to do to keep myself entertained. That is a safe-haven for my thoughts. People respond very positively when I do this. It's because I'm very comfortable when I don't worry about something I can't control.